Saturday, March 29, 2008

Bud Light Chelada: Worst Beer Ever or Simply Misunderstood?


There are a lot of awful and repulsive beers in the world, but there's a special beer aisle in Hell that carries the worst of the worst. For whatever reason, I have a strange desire to try these beers.

For reference, some of the other bottom of the barrel brews are the infamous Crazy Ed's Cave Creek Chili Beer, that beer with the chili in it, Michelob Ultra, and Evil Eye Malt Liquor (in case you're wondering, the vast majority of malt liquors rank about Bud Light Chelada).

In my research one particular gem kept turning up - Bud Light Chelada, a pander by Bud to Hispanic beer drinkers. This beer combines Bud Light with Clamato (yes, clam juice and tomatoes, really) and adds a bit of lime and salt for character.

Before I get to my review, I want to share some of the comments I read that inspired me to track this down:

"I almost threw up, it tastes like tomato and vomit. No beer taste at all."

"It actually brought tears to my eyes at the thought of having to drink the whole 22 ounces and made me do the "it's icky" dance."

"This isn't even your every day, run-of-the-mill bad; it's a special bad that deserves a new name to properly describe it."

"This is a "beer" that has truly scarred me for life."

Who wouldn't want to try this?


Bud Light Chelada
D / 2.2
look: 2 | smell: 2 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 2.5 | drink: 1.5

Picked up a 16 oz. can out of sheer perverse curiosity. Do I regret it? I don't think so. Do I regret not also buying the Budweiser Chelada to taste? Not at all.

It pours a hazy pink with the head of club soda (light and quickly disappearing). The appearance was pretty unappealing, though I guess the style is wide open, but it reminded me of fish guts and it was kind of bloody pink with bits of what I assume to be tomato floating around.

The aroma and flavor came off like a cold, salty version of condensed Campbell's Tomato Soup that's cut with light beer instead of milk or water. Frankly, I found it a bit too salty, even though one of my immediate urges what to add oyster crackers and make myself a grilled cheese sandwich.

The beer came off fairly thick and was by no means easy to drink. This was a definite drain pour for me, but I can see this being an acquired taste as none of the individual flavor were actually repulsive or anything. This beer simply is what it is and now I never have to try it again.

So do I think it deserve to adorn that fiery beer aisle in Hell? Yes, but only because so many people find it so vile.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

And we're back


After a post-BJCP hiatus, it's time to get back to the matter at hand - beer. There's been a lot of good stuff coming my way lately, like Founder's Devil Dancer. It's a big amber colored 13% abv beer that the brewery has dubbed a "triple IPA." While I wouldn't say it's got three times the bitterness, it's still notable for it's massive size and tasty hop flavors.

I also had the pleasure of trying a couple beers from the one-man operation, East End Brewing of Pittsburgh, while I was in the area last week. I found their Bitter End and Blackstrap Stout on-tap at Bocktown Beer and Grill (possibly the best strip mall bar in the world). Both beers, while not the best I've ever had, proved to be interesting and well worth trying out.

One truly notable recent beer experience happened this last Friday. Around 10:30 in the morning I set off with seven other local cycists for the annual Emmaus-Easton-Emmaus ride. It's a yearly 52-mile ride that honors the dirty and muddy spring classics of the professional cycling calendar. Accordingly, the ride takes every off-road trail between Emmaus and Easton, making for a long and bumpy ride. We had a total of four flats and two mechanicals along the way. And while it wasn't the most fun I've had on a bike, I think it'll prove to be one of my more memorable rides. There's nothing quite like flying down a debris-strewn dirt double track at 20 mph in a tight pack of riders.

The beer tie-in came at the very end of the ride. Tired and fairly beat up, we entered Emmaus on a road that swung by Shangy's, a legendary beer store in PA. There were four of us left by now but a little easy math showed that we could easily split a case if everyone carried a six-pack back to our end point, South Mountain Cycles. After about five minutes of discussion, we pulled a variety case from North Coast Brewing Company from the shelf and biked up through Emmaus with a hand on our handlebars and another gripping a sixer.

Over a German-style pizza (onions, green peppers, sweet peppers, steak), I tried the Blue Star wheat beer and Old #38 stout. Here's what I thought:

Old #38
B+ / 3.9
look: 3.5 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | drink: 4

I don't about the classification as a Irish Dry Stout style (this is thicker and more full flavored), but this certainly is a tasty beer. I got big milk and dark chocolate flavors along with chocolate grains and an aroma to match. There's a medium body with a balancing bitterness and touch of citrus hops flavor. Overall this is a great dessert beer and I'd love to see a coffee version of this.

Blue Star
B+ / 3.9
look: 4 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | drink: 4

Cracked a bottle open after a long bike ride and this really hit the spot. Light and refreshing, yet full of flavor. The wheat malt isn't as clean as I'd expect for an American wheat, it's a pleasant sweet bread flavor. Balanced by the malt are very fruity hops, lots of citrus and no harsh bitterness. There's also a little kick of yeasty earthyness. All in all, this is relatively complex session beer. At times I got a slight cilantro aroma, which makes me think they used Summit hops. I also could have used a little bitterness, but maybe that's just me.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

BJCP Has Come and Gone


Last Tuesday I finally say down for the three hours of mad scribbling and drinking known as the Beer Judge Certification Program Exam. It was about as hard as expected with questions like "Describe and explain the role of diastatic and proteolytic enzymes in the brewing process and how they affect the characteristics of the finished beer."

Short Answer: They break down proteins and convert starch to sugar while grains are mixed with hot water.

Fun stuff, naturally. A true test of beer geekery. The only questions I stumbled on were describing the substyle Classic American Pilsner and giving a commercial example of a straight, unblended lambic (there really aren't any).

After the three hours, Jason, the course instructor was generous enough to buy everyone a round at the bar, as we were back at the North Wales Iron Hill brewpub. I got a pint of the Bourbon Porter on nitro. Here's how it went:

3.75/5
look: 4 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 4 | drink: 4.5


Pours a dark, dark brown with a tan head. Tiny bubbles here, and drinks incredibly smooth. The aroma is of smooth bourbon and mellow chocolate grains. The flavor is a balance of the vanilla bourbon, oak, and the dark, cocoa and toffee flavors. While it's very easy to drink, I found the flavor a little too mild for this to be a great beer. The balance of bourbon and malt was there, but there wasn't enough of either flavor. That said, I'd still recommend this tasty treat.

I also had the pleasure of finding Green Flash West Coast IPA last night for a Friday evening of beer, pizza, and wings at Liberty St. Tavern. If you're ever in Allentown, aside from the smoking, it's got the best cheap pizza and beer selection in Eastern PA.

4.2/5
look: 3.5 | smell: 4 | taste: 4.5 | feel: 4.5 | drink: 4.5


On-tap at Liberty St. Tavern.

Bottom line: big hops yet drinkable. This toes the line of being too hoppy, but doesn't cross. Maybe my pour was just had the CO2 turned down, but there was zero head and lacing on this pint. The aroma was of big juicy, reisinous grapefuit with floral notes. The flavor expands with more citrus rind that is a nice mix of rough and smooth hops. I can't say enough about the balance here. Not of the mix of hops and malt, but enough hops and too much. Reminds me of Masala Mama of Town Hall in Minneapolis.