It's Cyclo-Cross Time

Beer Reviews: Beer Gone Bad - Probably

Some beers are born bad, others become bad from mishandling and infection. Last night I opened a bottle of Tilted Kilt and found a beer that could have been either. On one hand I'd found the same fowl elements in a similar beer once, McEwen's Scotch Ale. Then again, I'd be surprised if anyone truly wanted to make a beer this nasty.

Tilted Kilt Scottish Ale
Stone Cellar Brewery
Scottish Ale

D- / 1.9
look: 3.5 | smell: 1.5 | taste: 1.5 | feel: 1.5 | drink: 1.5

Picked up a single at the Party Source in Syracuse, NY. How this beer got there, I have no idea. Poured into a pint glass, it's a slightly hazy dark amber with a tall off-white head that slowly fades.

Something is wrong here, this beer smells like feet. There are caramel malt elements to the aroma, but if it smells like one thing, it's feet. Sweaty, caramel-covered feet.

The taste? Guess what - more feet, but with sour lemon, indicating there's probably something rotten here. If I find another bottle I'll try it again and re-review, but as this stands, nearly everything has gone wrong.

Beer Reviews: More Good, More Bad, De Proef Reserve Signature Ale, and Shiner Spezial Leicht

Let's start on the bad foot, then hop to the good.

Shiner Spezial Leicht
Spoetzl Brewery
American Macro Lager

D / 2.2
look: 3.5 | smell: 1.5 | taste: 2 | feel: 2 | drink: 2

Picked up a single bottle from the Central Market in Dallas. Appears pale, clear yelow with a white head and lacing.

"Brewed for that light, happy flavor."

Yeah, about that. There's nothing happy about this beer except the ensuing buzz if you can manage to slug this fast enough. The Shiner brand is a respectable line of beers, but this beer is nothing more than a upscale Coors Light. For an macro light beer, its disturbingly on-style for a brewery that should know better. The aroma has a dusty element along with very plain grains and sourdough. The flavor follows up with a hint of corn (DMS) and light fruitiness that's quickly burried under acrid, dry yeast character finish that's a drop of lemon with a lot of wet grain husk. No bueno. Avoid this one. Not even close to on par with the craft light beer. File this away with the frat house-party crap.


Something completely different:

De Proef Reserve Signature Ale
De Proefbrouwerij
Belgian Strong Pale Ale

A- / 4.1
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4.5 | drink: 4.5

Picked up a big bottle at New Beer in the Bowery. Pours a hazy dark amber in my tulip.

The aroma is grassy with apricots and perfume. The flavor beings with white pepper, wet farmhouse, and sweet apple (like in pie) and then finishes with a bitter lemon rind note that lasts and lasts with an earth element. Overall there's a little funk, a little fruit, and then a big hoppy finish. Damn this is good.

Beer Reviews: Taking the good with the very bad

Life has good days and bad days just like it has good beers and awful crap in a can. Here are a couple recent tastings that showcase the duality of beer.

Union Jack IPA
Firestone Walker Brewing Co.
American IPA

A- / 4.2
look: 4.5 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4.5 | drink: 4.5

The immediate grapefruit and pineapple fruit flavors leave few doubts about the American origin of this brew, but the spicy finish gives a nod to the British past of the style. The malts are fairly light with just a hint of dry biscuit barley under the citrus. The appearance is a deep gold-orange with a tall white head a thick lacing. The body is also as light as any pale ale, making this almost too drinkable for the 7.5% strength. Overall this IPA is rich in flavor with strong bitterness, while still maintaining drinkability. I'd say this is the best IPA I've had in some time. It doesn't hit you over the head with hops yet is complex and interesting.

UPDATE: Union Jack IPA just won the gold for American IPA at the GABF (Great American Beer Festival).

Labatt Ice
Labatt Brewing Co.
American Macro Lager

D+ / 2.35
look: 4 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 1.5 | drink: 2

Poured from a black can. Surprisingly for a macro, this one keeps a short head leaves lacing.

Yeah, this beer could be worse, but it still isn't any treat to drink. The aroma is fowl with dusty-smelling malts and acrid lager character. The flavor actually tastes decent at first, with the big, sweet bready malts of an export lager, but then a big sour milk and citrus tang comes through to ruin it all. What a waste of water.

Just Sayin...

I know I'm not the only one who thinks Joe Biden looks like Jeff Dunham's puppet, Walter.

Crimes Against Beer: St. Pauli Girl

Fun-loving beer my ass.

I'll be blunt, St. Pauli Girl Lager sucks as far as German beers are concerned. Sure, it can hang with the worst of the American macro lagers. I might even take it over an Old Milwaukee, if I was desperate for a drink.

The marketing folks at St. Pauli Girl, an InBev (those Belgians that bought Anheuser-Busch) brand, sure do like to make things up:
If you like a Girl that has a deep golden color, distinctive full-bodied taste and "hoppy" aroma, then the Lager is for you. This Girl has been a Gold Medal winner for the American Tasting Institute Best Full Calorie German Lager.

No, not so much.

St. Pauli Girl Lager
InBev
German Pilsener

D+ / 2.3
look: 3.5 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 1.5 | drink: 2.5

Why did I order this beer? Well I wasn't paying for it and I'd never tried it - win/win, right?

I though once the light-struck skunky flavor (thanks to the green bottle) cleared out of the aroma and taste, there might be something worth writing about, but I was mistaken. What was left after the most offensive, yet richest flavor vacated was a nasty sour fruit tang and only a hint of actual German lager flavor. Yes, it was there hiding in the back, light bready malts with a bit of sweetness. But for the most part I just tasted the big off-flavor that I assume St. Pauli Girl considers their trademark taste. Move along, nothing to drink here. Pass.

Of Bikes and Beer: Roller Wars

In an exhibition showing on the second floor of the Allentown Brew Works, a handful of brave souls went head to head on the Lehigh Wheelmen's vintage rollers. Check it out, this is Ryan "The Flask" Pomajevich versus Kurt "The Chappa" Begemann (that's chopper with a South African accent). And if anyone is wondering, that is a Gucci-styled skinsuit on the right.



Then, of course, there was the beer too. I tried a pale ale and red ale with mixed results. While I give the Brew Works credit for hosting bike races, the beers lack consistency.

Copper Kettle Pale Ale
Allentown Brew Works
American Pale Ale

B / 3.7
look: 3.5 | smell: 4 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 4 | drink: 4

Aside from a being fairly dark red color for a pale ale, this was good beer. The aroma is full of spicy, herbal hops and the flavor has a balance of dry biscuit (think bisquik) malts and more citrus hop flavors. The body is on the light side of medium and the carbonation is crisp enough to make this a good session beer. Worth trying if you stop by the brewpub.

West End Red
Allentown Brew Works
American Amber/Red Ale

C / 2.9
look: 3.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | drink: 3

In a word, disappointing. The malt somehow manages to hide while an uninspiring and typical of the brew works hops profile dominates the flavor. The hops, to be more specific, are the same grassy, spicy, herbal taste I've recently had in the Copper Kettle Pale Ale and the CH-47 pale ale at the Bethlehem location. I'm guessing the house yeast strain simply acts a bit funny with American hops, but the result here is not good. Pass.